Nilima Barde
Psychologist (AmityCARE)
Amongst the various workshops that AmityCARE conducts for students, we also conduct workshops on “Sex Education”. Following are some of the questions we have complied which we got during our interaction with adolescents.
Student's Query:
• “When we see our surrounding, we see our friends having girl friends and boyfriends. How can we stop ourselves from going in that atmosphere?”
Reply:
The question you need to ask yourself is what exactly do you want to avoid? Do you want to avoid having friends who either have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? Or do you want to avoid having a girlfriend or a boyfriend yourself and that's why you want to avoid your friends?
We must remember that our friends are different individuals and they have their own likes and dislikes, their own opinions and ideas. If we want to have good relations with others, we must be able to accept other people as they are. At the same time we must remember that our friends should not pressurize us to change and become like them. Whenever we feel uncomfortable, we should be able to express our opinions and say a firm “NO”. Like we accept them as they are, they should do the same.
Student's Query:
• “How can we avoid our friends who have girlfriends and boyfriends and instead concentrate on our studies?”
Reply:
At every stage in life we should be able to balance between “what we want to do” and “what we need to do”. Friends are important and spending time with them is what we want to do most of the times. But concentrating on our studies is what we need to do while we are students. Instead of totally avoiding your friends, may be you can try and spend equal amount of time with your friends and equal time studying. It's just a question of discipline and sticking to your commitment once you have decide when and how much time you will spend with your friends.
Student's Query:
• “We can't talk about these matters with anyone. So, what should we do?”
Reply:
Student's Query:
• “What will happen if boys do not have sexual intercourse, will the body stop forming sperms after crossing 30yrs?”
Reply:
No! This is a myth. There is no age limit by which a man should have sex. Many men today marry after 30 and have their first sexual intercourse after marriage and they enjoy healthy sexual lives.
Student's Query:
• “Why are some women not able to have children?”
Reply:
There are many reasons why some women are unable to have children. However these days we have a solution to many problems that women face. Some problems can be treated through medicines and some through other procedures like “IVF”. So there is hope for most women who have trouble conceiving.
Student's Query:
• “Is there any risk if we use our own organ for fun?”
Reply:
Using your organs for sexual pleasure is called “masturbation”. There is no medical risk or harm involved in masturbation. However, it is “unacceptable” in certain religions and some family's belief systems consider it wrong, while other families accept it as a part of growing up in children.
Student's Query:
• “Why shouldn't girls go to temples during menstruation?”
Reply:
There is no scientific or medical reason that prohibits girls from going to temples during their menstrual cycle. It's a question of particular religion and beliefs held by families.
Student's Query:
• “How are Twins born?”
Reply:
Student's Query:
• “What are the diseases by which people get infected by having sex?”
Reply:
The infections that one can get through sexual contact are called “Sexually Transmitted Infections/Diseases”. The reasons for these infections are numerous and some of these infections are curable while others are life threatening e.g. HIV/AIDS. One can protect oneself by doing the following:
- Avoiding sex (Abstinence)
- Maintaining personal hygiene
- Being loyal to your partner and by not having sex with strangers and people you barely know.
- Never have multiple sexual partners.
- Use condoms during sexual intercourse.
Student's Query:
• “How does a Hijra have sex? Which sex organs does a Hijra have?”
Reply:
Hijra's are essentially homosexual males who are more comfortable being dressed as women. They are humans just like you and me and have same needs and emotions like we do. But they are just different in their sexual orientation.
Student's Query:
• “Why is there no cure or medicine for HIV AIDS?”
Reply:
The HIV virus that leads to AIDS becomes resistant to drugs that are currently available for its treatment. To put it simply, the virus is “very intelligent” and we have still not found a medicine that can kill it. But there is intensive research being done in the world and lots of time, effort and money is being put into finding a cure. Someday in future we will succeed!!
Student's Query:
• “It is true that AIDS spreads by direct contact. Does it spread only from direct sexual intercourse or anything else also?
Reply:
AIDS is a disease that is caused by the HIV virus. This virus spreads primarily through one of the following ways:
- Through sexual intercourse with an infected person.
- Through blood transfusion of an infected person to a healthy person.
- Through the use of syringes which are used by an infected person and is immediately used by a healthy person.
- From an infected mother to her child.
Student's Query:
• “How can we spread the information about safe sex?”
Reply:
You can spread this information by encouraging your friends to attend workshops like these. If you think any of your friends has been involved with a girlfriend/boyfriend, you must encourage them to confide in a responsible and mature adult like a school teacher, or the school counselor or a parent etc. And the best way to do this is if you follow all practices of responsible sexual behavior yourself then you will set an example for others to follow.
Student's Query:
• “Why are you telling us all this?”
Reply:
Sex and sexuality are just another part of life and as adolescents it's currently an important aspect of your development. If we are not informed and educated about this aspect of our life, it may lead to various unwanted worries and problems. Knowledge is power and by educating ourselves, we are just empowering ourselves to live healthy and happy lives.
Student's Query:
• “But why is this being told to us in common?”
Reply:
It's understandable that some children feel uncomfortable at a sex education workshop especially when both boys and girls are attending it together. The reason workshops like these are conducted commonly is because both boys and girls are going through almost similar changes psychologically and certain physical changes at this age. In humans, sex and sexuality involves both the genders and it's important that we understand each other in order to be able to live cordially with each other in society.
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