ADOLESCENCE: A period of Stress or Smooth Transition?
                                                    Sunetra Banerjee
                                            PGT (Psy, Cambridge Noida)

Many adolescents today have problems and are getting into trouble. When exactly does ‘adolescence' start? There's a wide range of what's considered normal. But its important to make a distinction between puberty and adolescence. Most of us think of puberty as the development of adult sexual characteristics. They are certainly the most visible signs, but children between the ages of 10-14 can also be going through a bunch of changes that aren't readily seen from outside.

Many kids announce the onset of adolescence with a dramatic change in behavior. Some tend to become independent whereas others show more dependency. At the same time, so kids are increasingly aware of how others especially their peers see them and they desperately try to fit in.

There is lot of pressure from family and friends. For some there are pressures of poverty, violence, parental problems and gangs. Adolescents are also concerned about significant issues such as religion, gender roles, values, etc.

Sometimes children can't easily explain why they act the way they do. They may be just as confused about it as adults or they simply see delinquent behavior as appropriate ways to deal with what they experience. They face emotional ups and downs. At times they are rebellious and at odd with their parents.

The primary goal is to achieve independence.
As they mature, they start to think more abstractly and rationally. They form their moral code. They begin asserting themselves, their opinions.

How do you know when to seek help?

Try to focus on pattern rather than an isolated event. The patterns signaling the need for help include not only deviant behaviors by the adolescent, but also the presence of other problems in the family.

Many factors put adolescents and parents at risk of juvenile delinquency, though they do not necessarily cause delinquency. Such factors include youth attention and hyperactivity problems and rising disorders, volatile temperament and even the early or late onset of puberty and sexual development

All these factors effect the way an adolescent feels and acts and also how peers, family and society view the adolescent.

Tips for understanding the adolescent

Despite some adults negative perceptions about adolescents they are often energetic, thoughtful and idealistic with a deep interest in what's fair and right. So, although it can be a period of conflict between parent and child, the teen years are also a time to help children grow into distinct under duals. Its important for the parents to look closely as to how much room they are giving to their child? Are they being too authoritative or too democratic? Some important tips for parenting during teens years are:

• Read books about teenagers. Think back on your own adolescence years. Expect some mood changes in your child and be prepared for more conflict.
• Answer the questions your child had about bodies, such as the difference between boys and girls; where babies come from, etc. But don't overload your child with information just answer their questions.
• Help your child understand that its normal to be bit concerned or self conscious.
• Discuss things like drugs, alcohol, tobacco use, sex etc., openly before he or she is exposed to them. It increases the chance that your teen will act responsibly when the time comes.
• Know the warning signs. A certain amount of change may be natural, but too drastic, or long lasting chance in a child's personality or behavior may signal real trouble and need professional help.
• Respect your child's privacy.
• Monitor what your child sees and reads.
• Maintain your expectations. Adolescents need to know that their parents care enough for them. Appropriate grades, behavior and adherence to rules of the house are important standards to maintain.