TALKING WITH KIDS
Ritu Nagar, School Counselor
Bal Bharati Public School, Noida
SOME OF THE ROLES WE MAY BE UNWITTINGLY PUSHING OUR CHILDREN INTO
POOJA THE SAINT
“She is just so good. She always does the right thing. Never talks back to teachers. She comes in top five in her class”
Some children adopt the role of a saint to please others they may repress emotions that are considered negative .
Repression of our true self most of the times means “our bad side” will show itself in occasional outbursts that can be inappropriate.
AMIT IS SUCH A QUIET BOY
“He is so nice he does not give us any trouble. He never gets angry”.
Some parents & teachers give the signal that children should be seen & not heard. These children will grow up to be very lonely adults.
SEEMA THE DOER.
“ Seema is good at every thing she has won so many medals & comes first in the class. She is the first one to get the job done.”
Some parents & teachers communicate to the children that their only value is in how much they can do & how much they can achieve. These children will do things so that others continue to love them .
RAHUL THE STAR
“He always stands out in the crowd. He has such high standards. It's a shame his siblings don't have the same standards.”
Stars & heroes are so busy trying to shine & stand out that they often miss the fun of the experiences they are suppose to be enjoying. They may be so independent that they don't want to be team players .
It is true that we force our children into certain roles within the classroom & home by the language that we use with them. A child learns to survive in the class or at home by playing the role that we have unconsciously assigned to her. A child should have the opportunity to develop and experience various roles so that she can achieve a balance in her life.
COMMUNICATE WITH CHILDREN TO EDUCATE, NEGOTIATE, MOTIVATE, REWARD, AND LOVE THEM
Ms. Neetika - Ms Nagar has so beautifully explained us that how unknowingly most of the times we force our students / children into play certain roles which create so much pressure on them. We should watch what we say as these are the formative years of forming a child's personality. Give a lot of positive affirmations to them.
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