Mrs. Vimal Bakshi

                                                        Vice – Principal-Rockwood School.

Your 17 years old son is appearing for Indian Institute of Technology's Joint Entrance Exam. You drop him off at the exam center and then go home being worried. But as he returns he is relaxed and satisfied while other students are panicked. He had worked very quickly and methodically through the questions. The result: a high rank in the merit list that assures him both, admission to the I.I.T of his choice as well as his chosen subject.

Peak Performances – Moments when children achieve the best, by being the dream of every dream. And yet most of us have seen a report card or a dance performance that falls short of what our kids can accomplish. Why can some boys and girls repeatedly perform at their peak, while others of equal or superior ability cannot? Many parents assume that skill is determined by natural ability.

I have learned otherwise. Genes count in determining performance, but success demands beyond that. The edge comes from mental attitude, character and strategy. And I have discovered some simple ways for parents to help the youngsters develop these traits.

Find something to praise : A student of nine asked a group of world – class athletes to identify the primary influences on the early careers. Ninety five percent gave the same answer - my parents support. A child who feels good about himself succeeds. Nurturing that self - esteem is the central element of inspiring a child to peak performance and you can start early too.

I love to watch my friend making her two – year –old feel successful, “Rahul” she will say. “See it you can pick up three toys. One – that is very good Rahul! Two – great job! Three – good! And she will applaud and hug him. Self esteem in tiny bits, one after another. It is not easy to praise your son when his team has lost an inter school match but you can try some thing like this: “Those were easy goals you missed but you dribbled well. Next time, aim at the far post and you will get the ball in”.

Teach don't blame : Unfortunately, if you could tape parent's comments on a child's performance, you would probably find a high percentage of negative remarks. Worst, the criticisms may be accompanied by put downs- “You are dump!”, “Why can't you get this through your head?”, “God, you are clumsy!”

If you keep telling your son something is wrong with him. Sooner or later he will believe it. Criticize the behaviour, not the child. Follow every “That is wrong!” with an explanation, “The right thing to do it…”, “ Don't use your instep for a powerful shot at the goal but bend your body forward and kick with the top of your foot”.

Always leave your child knowing what you want him to do rather than what you don't want him to do. The last thing said to a person before a moment of trial is what he will remember. That thought should inspire positive action.

Assess your child's strengths: Too often we try to mould our kids into what we want them to be like rather than listening to their own opinions and self – assessments. The first thing I ask a boy or girl is. “What do you like to do?” or “What is fun for you?” or “What are you good at?” I am not looking for a recitation of trophies won or achievements recorded, but simpler answers like the things that the kid takes pride in, “I can run fast” or “I am good at science” or “I like to sing.”

Some times kid's answers carry clues to abilities we had not suspected. The boy who tells you proudly that he can balance on one foot may never be a first rate cricketer, but, given an opportunity, he may be a first rate soccer player.

Encourage – Suppose your daughter is about to accompany the school song on her guitar. She is scared, but you can help her build a feeling of success. Break the performance down into steps- the first step is to take the guitar out of the case. “Can you do that?” “Good! Next step is to make sure your music book is opened to the right page.” By the time she turns the first chords she will already have a record of successes, and the last obstacle may not seem insurmountable after all.

Talking positively to yourself about yourself reinforces self-image, which in turn improves performance. Better performance causes more self – praise, which elevates self-image, which triggers further improvement. “I am really playing well today” becomes “I am a good guitar player” which bolsters confidence to be a guitar player.

Teach your child to relax – Knowing how to relax is key to peak performance. When you are relaxed, your mind is clear and your body can function at its greatest efficiency. Start with your child's breathing. Show him what happens in a deep breath. “See how your tummy flattens then pushes out again and that is where you really breathe. Be aware of how that feels”. Teach him how to breathe deeply, to feel the breath as he takes it in.

Step two is to find a single thought that puts him in a relaxed mood. The cue can be thinking of a strain of music, imagining the feel of warm sand on the beach or a breeze riffling through the leaves. Teach him to focus only on that idea until he feels calm. A relaxed mood helps to set aside distractions and zero in on the task ahead.

Concentrate, Concentrate ….

Parents often complain they can't have their kid's attention for more than a few seconds. Yet the same kids play hand held video games for hours.

You can sharpen your child's ability to concentrate with little drills. For a very young child, sing a song and ask her to listen closely to the lyrics. Then question her about what she has heard. An older child can be made to scan a list page of numbers, then take the page away. “What numbers do you remember from the top row?”

Rehearse – mentally – A well-known ‘kathak' dancer says she mentally rehearse part of her dance routine movement by movement. She “feels” her arm movements. She “hears” the beat of the music. Since the kids have vivid imaginations, they take readily to visualization.

Try these with your child and let's pledge to unleash the winner in each child. All the Best!!!